Back to normal?

Well yesterday I was discharged from hospital, which I was very happy about. 

The ward I was on was great, well the room was. Being stuck in an isolation room means you only see your own room but you do get a nice en-suite and a specialised menu for chemo patients. 

So what have I got to show from my four days in hospital? An infinate number of puncture wounds from cannulas and blood tests, a ridiculously big bruise on my right arm and enough medication to start my own phamacy (it seems as though I can’t enter the hospital without a bag of drugs at the moment).

Once home, it was time for a catch up with my hubby and babies before bedtime. I spent the evening just enjoying being at home and having some company. 

This morning I woke up and was actually glad to have my babies jumping all over me (it’ll be completely different tomorrow morning). We all got up and went about the usual Thursday morning routine, Tom and I rushing around like headless chickens trying to get ready to leave at 8:10 while my babies dawdle around. Once I had dropped them off and nursery and Tom had left for work it was just me. I’d decided, after being cooped up for days in hospital that a trip to Hobbycraft for a little treat was in order. I enjoyed wandering round (only difficult bit is making sure I don’t spend too much) and picked up a couple of things. It was when I was leaving, after having a lovely conversation with the checkout girl about the dangers of Hobbycraft (arty people will know what I mean), that it struck me. What the hell has just happened?

Ok Thursday and Friday last week were pretty bad for side effects but I had a lovely day in Liverpool on Saturday and I felt perfectly fine. When I woke up on Sunday though I felt awful. I could barely keep my eyes open and I was unbelievably cold. The infection I had, had come from nowhere. It really made me realise had important it was for me to check my temperature and to be aware of neutropenic sepsis (decrease in white bloods cells which can cause serious infections). Within 24hrs of being in hospital I felt a lot better. Looking back in it, its hard to explain how it feels to all of a sudden be back to normal and left to just get on with everything as I was before. The best way I can explain it is, you know the saying 1 step forward, 2 steps back? Well, instead of 2 steps back, its more like 1 step forward, then you are snatched away, chewed up and spat back out somewhere completely different.

Think it’s going to take me a few days to settle back in, but I’ll get there eventually. Next week is always the best week out of the 3 weeks following chemo where I feel whole again and raring to go, all ready for chemo the following week. However the next one is the big one, the LAST one 🙂 


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