After watching some of the interviews Lynda Bellingham has done recently and hearing some of her funny stories, it made me think about some of the funny things that have happened to me since my diagnosis. There have been so many situations that I have found myself in that just would not have been the case if I wasn’t ill. This has now prompted me to share some of these with you, both now and in the future. So here goes!
My first happened just the other month when my sister and I went to see Lee Evans at the NIA. I’m sure you are all aware of how profusely he sweats on stage, well it was hardly surprising, as the arena was so hot and there was no air conditioning. As it was a night out, I had decided to wear one of my wigs and by the interval I was a mess. Try as we might, we couldn’t get a drink from anywhere as there were so many people. When we finally found a shorter queue we were told that they were not letting anyone else in at that time but we could wait. By this point I was so hot and bothered I decided enough was enough, the wig had to come off (fortunately I had a head scarf in my bag). Well I’ve never seen the security move so fast “What sort of drink did you want?”. “Anything. Water, any soft drink. I don’t care” I replied. We were then rushed through to get our drinks and they apologised for making us wait. I couldn’t believe it and I tell you one thing, if I’d known that earlier I would have bloody played the cancer card then! The funniest thing was I only took my wig off because I was too hot, I had no intention of it drawing any attention, let alone get us some drinks. God only knows how anyone else around us reacted, would have been funny to see.
My second story is more of a conundrum. As I have said many times before, cancer is not glamorous and dignity is a distant memory. The other day as I preparing myself I was told that two male nurses would be preparing and positioning me ready for treatment. I was given the option of female nurses, however it might mean having to wait until one was available. I gave it some thought and it occurred to me, what is the point? My boob is swollen and bright red, my arms are held up like a puppet and I have a wonderful bit of yellow plastic holding my chin up. If anyone found that attractive, they had bigger problems than me! I ended up telling them to just get on with it so I could go home.