Told you I’d put up a fight!

So today Timehop had another reminder for me.

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It was such a blow for me that day, my idea that morning was to see the oncologist who would tell me everything was going to plan and that my chemo would rid me of my cancer. However, as usual for me, it didn’t quite go that way. I was sat down, the doctor gave a huge sigh and said that this was the part of the job she hated. My cancer had spread and was, therefore, incurable. She promised me it could be managed and although she has since left my hospital, her promise has been kept. At the time, my only wish was to see my little girls first day at school and enjoy life more as I had no idea how long I would last (sorry a bit depressing)

But here I am 2 years later, with no further spread, after my chemo kicked the s**t out of it and reduced the mass on my pelvis, spine and hip to just a small amount on my pelvis and hip.

So I guess I’d better make some aims for the next 2 years!

  1. My sisters wedding and subsequent hen do’s (one of which I am allowed to plan)
  2. My little boy’s first day of school
  3. A big family holiday (we are more in the habit of weekends away then proper holidays, but this ends now)
  4. Carry on enjoying life (this will include wacky weekends away, meeting celebs and some other weird and wonderful things that crop up along the way)

So, to end I thought I’d share a photo from our first adventure of the year, Alton Towers (and Cbeebies Land).

12 Cbeebies 2

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Support Networks

I have seen this article floating around Facebook today and it really made me think

http://www.babble.com/parenting/to-the-mom-without-a-village/

It talks about how it takes a ‘village’ to raise a child i.e. the support networks we have around us to help us bring up our children. These networks can be family, friends, education providers, healthcare etc. These networks also provide a variety of support from guiding children to providing support for the parents.

However this can easily be transferred to illness and in my case, cancer.

Over the past year or so, support networks have been a big thing for me, from my family helping out with my little monkeys (& in the case of my dad, providing us all with more meals than I can remember) to my newly found friends (both old friends who have become closer than ever to all the women on the cancer support groups on Facebook) & my wonderful hubby, who in the nearly 5 years we have been married has had to deal with more than some people who have been married for 20 years. There are also the goodness knows how many nurses, volunteers, doctors and Macmillan workers (to name but a few) who have had to listen to me pour my heart out when all they have really asked was how I am.

People often ask how I am able to cope? How am I able to stay up beat and keep on fighting? The truth is, without these people, I really don’t know.

Having cancer at 31 is an incredibly hard thing to get your head around. I assumed when I turned 30, my biggest problem would be how to cope with a hangover now I’m that tiny bit older and the best way to cover up a mum tum. Sounds silly I know but some days it would be nice to have just these problems.

The other week, some friends arranged a trip out with our children but I had to decline as I was having treatment (& after some messing around from the hospital I ended up having to postpone it until the next day). I felt really rubbish about it because nowadays I have to plan my life around my illness, it’s not like re-arranging a hair appointment. If I miss treatment it’s…. well it’s not possible. I wish I could have more time for friends but it isn’t always easy. With so much going on in my life, it is easy to forget to get in touch with people and make arrangements to see people. The reason I am so close to my best friend is because we constantly text, message and meet up. I can be feeling really crappy as I’ve had a bad day but just one message, even if it is something completely random, can make me feel so much better.

I know I’ve probably rambled on but the point in this post is really to thank everyone in my support network and try to show you all how much you all mean to me.

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